Here’s Why We Shouldn’t Lie About Taking Mental Health Days

(THIS ARTICLE IS COURTESY OF THRIVE GLOBAL)

 

WELL-BEING//

Here’s Why We Shouldn’t Lie About Taking Mental Health Days

A clinical psychologist says covering them up can actually be worse for your well-being.
Alexander Kpke / EyeEm/ Getty Images
Alexander Kpke / EyeEm/ Getty Images

One morning in September, Sarah Billington told her manager she had to go home for the day because she was feeling sick. But she didn’t have an upset stomach like she let on — she was on the verge of a breakdown.

The author and editor had been struggling with anxiety well before that moment, but according to her candid op-ed in the Huffington Post, she knew in that instant that powering through was no longer a viable option. So she played the sick card and took the day off. “I went home, removing myself from the situation that was making me spiral with anxiety and giving myself a chance to regroup, to curl up in bed for an afternoon and overcome the panic and negative self-talk.” Billington writes.

Billington opens up in her story about facing an unsettling matter in her personal life while juggling a slew of stressful tasks at a previous job. She’d had conversations with her then-manager about taking time to prioritize her mental health, but when it came time to request time off, her boss was less than understanding. “She found it inappropriate and unacceptable,” Billington writes. “[I ended up] feeling ashamed and anxious for having requested the time off.” Still reeling from that past experience, she lied. “I don’t want management thinking I’m incapable of doing my job. On the contrary, I’m actually very good at it,” Billington notes. And yet: “There is an unjustified stigma around mental illness in the workplace and in general,” she writes. “When someone takes a sick day because of a virus or the common cold, their absence isn’t considered evidence that they can’t handle their work.”

No one should make you feel guilty about prioritizing your well-being, and if we don’t speak up about mental health days, they’ll continue to be shrouded in shame. Taking a mental health day is important if you’re struggling,  Thomas Plante, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Stanford University School of Medicine, tells Thrive Global. And by covering it up, you could also be hindering your well-being in the long run by turning to a short-term fix instead of dealing with an underlying issue head-on, Plante points out.

How to ask your boss for a mental health day:

Plante suggests being as specific as possible when you ask. We often refer to our mental struggles in vague terms because we don’t want to disclose too much in the workplace, but perhaps if your boss knew you were using the afternoon to recharge in the outdoors or go to a therapy appointment, she could become less skeptical of what the day actually means to you. Also, work on phrasing the request to let your manager know that you’re taking this time so you can come back mentally stronger, refreshed, and in a better place to be productive at work.

That being said, “Mental health days can help in the short term, but they might not help in the long term if there’s a bigger problem to be addressed,” Plante says. “A day off can help, but it also might be indicative of a larger issue,” he says, and if you suspect that’s the case, it’s better to consult with a therapist.

If you still feel the need to lie, ask yourself these questions:

If you’ve tried the above tactics but your boss is not accepting, or you still feel the need to lie about taking a mental health day, you may need to take a broader look at your workplace conditions and if they’re healthy for you, Plante suggests. When you’re already feeling overwhelmed, ignoring a deeper workplace issue can often add fuel to the fire, so it’s important to assess the nature of your office environment.

1. Is your workplace civil?

“Your work environment affects your bottom line. It affects your productivity, your well-being, and your overall health,” says Plante. If your office feels like a toxic environment, consider switching teams, raising a particular problem to HR, or even going elsewhere, says Plante. “Civility is key when it comes to company culture,” he notes. (Here at Thrive, compassionate directness is a key cultural value.) “Everybody needs to be treated with respect, compassion, and reverence. If that’s not happening, that’s a problem.”

2. Can you have a conversation about your workload?

It’s one thing to feel like your plate is too full, but it’s another thing to stay quiet about it if you’re feeling overwhelmed. According to Plante, corrective feedback is important when it comes to your well-being, both from employer to employee, and visa versa. Just like you’d want your manager to be honest with you, it’s vital to openly communicate if you feel like you’re hitting a wall. “Creating a culture of care starts with the employees,” Plante points out. “Don’t ignore the power of corrective feedback.”

3. Do you need more than a mental health day?

Feeling like you need an occasional break is normal, but if you have to lie about what’s going on inside, you might need more than a day off, Plante says. According to a 2018 APA survey, taking time off helps workers recharge, but the mental benefits that come from taking a brief vacation tend to fade within a few days of returning to work. In fact, 42 percent of participants of the organization’s well-being survey admitted they usually “dread” returning to work after a break. If you’re struggling with intense stress and anxiety, seeking professional help will probably help you more than a mental health day here and there. Remember that there’s no shame in reaching out when you don’t have the answers yourself.

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(Hard Philosophy Poem) When We Lie, Why We Lie

WHEN WE LIE, WHY WE LIE

 

You asked me a simple question

You wish to know my hidden truth

You asked me, why did I lie to you

Can you really handle direct honesty

Did you think you really knew me

 

I ask you, who do you think you are

Why do you think you matter to me

Do you actually think I care about you

Why should I waste my time with your tears

Do you think you’re more than amusement to me

 

I lie to you because I enjoy the game of your ignorance

I lie to you because you are not worthy of my sincerity

I play with your feelings because I find it fun to do

My affections, why do you think I should care about you

I lie to you because I believe you’re not worthy of the truth

 

If I believed you to be a real actual human being

If I honestly thought you worthy of a second of time

If I thought you to be a real person with a living Soul

If I cared at all about your feelings or of your tears

Then I nor you nor any person, would ever, be lied to

President Obama: Just Like Hillary: Just Another Lying Politician!!!

(THIS ARTICLE IS COURTESY OF THE WASHINGTON POST)

At least President Obama is honest. Or so goes the common perception. He tried, maybe he made mistakes, the other side was mean to him, but through it all, he didn’t lie.

That view got smithereened this week. It was always hard to believe the president’s repeated claim that he didn’t know his own secretary of state was using an off-the-books e-mail server to avoid public scrutiny, in the process virtually guaranteeing that she would commit multiple felonies by taking classified information into the open.

Now we know Obama was lying. His own aides said so, in e-mails uncovered by WikiLeaks and made public this week.

In March 2015, Obama made the ridiculous claim that he had learned about Clinton’s e-mail server “the same time everybody else learned it, through news reports.” In fact, not only did he know she was using a private e-mail address for state business, but he had corresponded with her via that address.

“We need to clean this up — he has e-mails from her — they do not say state.gov,” Cheryl Mills, a top aide, wrote to John Podesta, another senior adviser, on March 7, 2015.

Obama spokesman Josh Earnest did indeed try to “clean this up,” two days later, by changing the subject.

“The point that the president was making is not that he didn’t know Secretary Clinton’s e-mail address — he did — but he was not aware of the details of how that e-mail address and server had been set up, or how Secretary Clinton and her team were planning to comply with the Federal Records Act,” Earnest said.

[Obama is] just another lying politician.

Try that technique on your wife sometime when she finds out you were at a blonde’s house when you said you were going to church. “I didn’t mean to say I was at Holy Name — I wasn’t — but I just want to clarify that I was not aware of what year the church was built.”

Despite the sacred sheen of Obama idealism that the media have been struggling to keep polished all these years, our president is an ordinary politician who lies for the same reason other pols do. He thinks whatever means he uses are justified by the ends — his awesome mission to make America a better place.

In promoting ObamaCare, Obama repeatedly and shamelessly lied to the American people: “If you like the plan you have, you can keep it. If you like the doctor you have, you can keep your doctor, too,” he said on June 6, 2009, in one of dozens of similar remarks. Obama knew this was untrue at the time; it was built into the plan that millions would lose the health plans they had.

There is a distinction between lies and political BS.

Modal Trigger

BS can involve starry-eyed thinking that won’t survive acquaintance with reality. Obama might have actually believed himself when he promised “the most transparent administration in history.” Today it’s obvious that instead, Obama’s White House has been “one of the most secretive,” as Washington Post media columnist Margaret Sullivan put it.

It wasn’t mere B.S. when Obama lied about Benghazi: “We revealed to the American people exactly what we understood at the time,” he said on Feb. 2, 2014, though his administration knew the night of the Sept. 11, 2012 attacks that they were planned, terrorist acts. On Sept. 16, 2012, UN Ambassador Susan Rice, working from White House-approved talking points, repeatedly blamed the Benghazi attacks on a nonexistent protest over an inflammatory video.

 Our president is an ordinary politician who lies for the same reason other pols do

Obama lied about the Fast and Furious operation that allowed some 2,500 firearms to be bought by Mexican drug cartels. One such gun was used to murder US Border Patrol agent Brian Terry: “The Fast and Furious program was a field-initiated program begun under the previous administration,” Obama said on Sept. 20, 2012. In fact, the program was launched by Obama’s Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms in October 2009.

Obama lied about immigration: “My position hasn’t changed,” he said on Nov. 20, 2014, as he announced unilateral executive action to normalize the status of illegal immigrants, a move he had repeatedly and correctly said he lacked the authority to make.

Obama lied about the IRS’s targeting of conservatives, even contradicting his own statements that the harassment was “inexcusable” and made him “angry” on May 15, 2013. Less than a year later, when the heat was off, he said there was “not even a smidgen of corruption” and the IRS’s vendetta against right-leaning groups was totally excusable as a bureaucratic snafu.

You get the idea; Google “Politifact Obama false” for lots more along the same lines.

Once upon a time, when we were all bedazzled by his freshness, Obama set about saying whatever it took to get elected. Remember when he promised health-care negotiations would be broadcast on C-SPAN, when he said his deeply held religious beliefs meant he couldn’t support gay marriage, when he said he would not raise any kind of taxes on families earning less than $250,000?

Faith in him proved enduring. Some of his fanboys insist to this day that Obama is a transcendent figure, a “lightworker.”

Nonsense. He’s just another lying politician.

Do Republicans Need TO Throw Both Trump And Cruz Out Of Their Convention?

 

I am a registered Independent voter who has no loyalty to any political party, so no, I am not a Democrat railing against the Republicans who are running for their party’s nomination.  To be honest with you I really can’t stand either of the Clinton’s, they have proven themselves to be habitual liars and habitual liars should have their tongues cut out. That would actually be doing folks like the Clinton’s and the Bush’s a huge favor as Jesus made it plain several times that  “all liars will have their place in the lake of fire (Hell)”.

 

Personally I believe that on the Democratic side of the Presidential Primary situation these so-called “Super Delegates” are illegal (un-Constitutional). The way their rules are set up it is very difficult for anyone but the  party’s ‘ordained’ to ever get the party’s nomination. They put the primary voters votes to nothing (like junk bond status) as it really comes down to those 702 ‘Super-Delegates’ and whom they want to be their nominee. This takes the millions of votes the American people voted and throws them in the garbage, so that they can decide, not the people.

 

The Republican process does not have the ‘Super-Delegates’ but that doesn’t mean they care about what the American voters have to say either. I personally believe that the best person of the five remaining Presidential candidates for actually doing a good job for the people is Governor Kasich of Ohio. I am not a huge fan of the Governor, I just believe he would do the best job at getting our country moving again than what the other four would do. I do believe that the two worse possible candidates for the American people and the world would be the two biggest liars, Ms. Hillary or lying Ted (the hypocrite) Cruz. I personally believe that the most ‘dangerous’ person of these five to be our President is Mr. Cruz. Just like when he graduated college that same day he is on video stating his ‘Mein Kampf’, that his aim in life is to become President, And to rule the World.

 

I do not believe that there is any chance that the RNC (Republican National Convention) will ever allow Donald Trump to be their candidate, never. So that would make sure that lying Ted will be their nominee, correct? Not so fast, since the Republican ‘Establishment’ hates the ground Ted Cruz walks on, among the reasons why is that they just like every U.S. Congress member knows that he is an habitual liar who will say or do anything to get his way. And his way is all-ways about himself, he claims to be a Christian to get the Christian vote and I as a Christian can not even stand to see or hear him or his (should-be wife) Ms. Hillary. Sorry about that personal opinion there, but when it comes to the ‘Republican delegates’ votes at their Convention they are not obligated to vote for anyone after that first vote where they say no to Mr. Trump there is no reason at all that they have to vote for Mr. Cruz! So, whom is left after they say no to these two gentlemen? Mr. Trump could have just as easily ran as a Democrat or as the Independent he will be running as in November. Mr. Cruz is not a Republican just as Mr. Sanders is not really a Democrat. Mr. Cruz is the Tea Party’s ‘top mouth piece’, the Tea Party every election cycle runs candidates against sitting Republicans to displace them from office. The Republican Party badly needs to remove all ‘Tea Party’ people from their clan, why should they keep a knife stuck in their back all the time. This will work when Senator Sanders is booted from the Democratic Convention when the DNC (Democratic National Convention) ordains officially Queen Hillary. We The People deserve at least 5 candidates to get to vote for this November 1st. Republican Governor Kasich, Democrats Hillary Clinton, Tea Party Ted Cruz, with at least two Independents, Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders. America could have a second election 7 days later to vote for the two top vote recipients. This would give ‘We The People’ far more say so as to whom our President will be thus taking that decision out of the hands of career politicians.