Dirty Little Secrets

Dirty Little Secrets

 

Just because I was young and naive

You kept your secrets from me

Because both our kids were young

I pray their minds are cleansed of such deceptions

 

Secrets, O how much they can harm

Dirty little secrets

How many deaths have you caused

Dirty little secrets,  you mar the Soul and the heart

 

Secrets, prognosticate the lies that now come

Why always the need to bury a truth

To skirt all of the real issues in our lives

In the mirror, what is that looking back at you

Dirty little secrets

 

We keep some secrets, sometimes  for life

Sometimes to protect the heart of a friend

Little white lies don’t hurt we are all told

All we have to do is just pretend we didn’t know

O the weight and the cost of dirty little secrets

 

I wish that perfect for a day I could be

A disgrace is all I see when dreams enlighten

When I see the secrets inside of me

Lord I come to you on prayerful knees

Please cleanse me of all, my dirty little secrets

Those Eyes

 

The first eyes we see

There filled with happiness and glee

Warmth in the smiles of momma’s eyes

Those eyes do comfort and anxieties ease

First grade crushes

Eyes filled with smiles and blushes

Twinkles of glee and faces with blushes

Those eyes of adolescent crushes

Young adult eyes all filled with dreams

Hearts filled with love

Those eyes, of a heart not yet broken

Middle age crazy

Our minds filled with lust

Lying here in bed with our neighbors bride

Remembering the heat and the lust in those eyes

Hearing a sound, it did not come from us

Stumble into the street

Everyone’s eyes looking up

The saddest eyes I have ever seen

The eyes of the Lord looking straight at me

Those Eyes

 

The first eyes we see

There filled with happiness and glee

Warmth in the smiles of momma’s eyes

Those eyes do comfort and anxieties ease

First grade crushes

Eyes filled with smiles and blushes

Twinkles of glee and faces with blushes

Those eyes of adolescent crushes

Young adult eyes all filled with dreams

Hearts filled with love

Those eyes, of a heart not yet broken

Middle age crazy

Our minds filled with lust

Lying here in bed with our neighbors bride

Remembering the heat and the lust in those eyes

Hearing a sound, it did not come from us

Stumble into the street

Everyone’s eyes looking up

The saddest eyes I have ever seen

The eyes of the Lord looking straight at me

Dreaming About Food: Sounds Mundane And Boring; But Is It Really?

 

Tonight has been another one of those sleepless night for me, I have these sleep issues a lot. So, after going to bed about 12:30 AM I laid there until 4 AM and decided to go ahead and get up. About the only thing I do these days is to sit here at my desk tapping around on my laptop or watching the TV. We happen to have two cats that are both spoiled rotten but the oldest of the two can get on your last nerve like he is doing right now. Earlier this past evening he was asleep in my wheelchair here beside me. All of a sudden we could here him letting out little odd sounding moans in his sleep. My wife and I both said the same thing, he is probably having a dream about food as that seems to be about the only thing he ever thinks about. He is still sitting here beside me looking up at me making different sounds, we know this routine. If I get up he will walk straight to the kitchen and sit and look up at the cabinet where the kitty treats are at, or he will run to their food bowl in the main bathroom. If he can see the bottom at any spot in the bowl he thinks he is going to starve to death if we don’t refill it. This little boy is not so little anymore, it seems like his belly is the only thing he ever thinks about while he is awake, and I really wonder if he dreams of chicken, fish, and turkey. But, then again, I am sitting here munching on peanut butter crackers and it is not like I’m skinny myself. Yet I do not recall ever actually having a dream about food, any food, not even my favorite things like fried chicken, cold seedless watermelon, white grapes or crispy bacon.

 

Moki (the cat) is the one who got me to thinking about this title and the more I thought about it the more I realized that all cat jokes aside, this is quite the serious issue. When I was a child I remember having to always clean my plate even if the items on it  tasted horrible to me, I had no choice. Every once in a while my Mom would make a comment about ‘all those starving kids in Africa’ as a way to guilt trip me I guess, yet I knew that what she was saying was the truth. When I was a child we never had an abundance of food but we always had enough so that none of us starved to death even if we did feel hungry at times. As I became an adult I came to realise that here in the U.S. we had/have millions of people who go hungry everyday, this issue is not just an African problem, it is a worldwide problem. I sometimes watch TV programs where professional Chefs go all over the world and try different dishes/foods. Some of the things these guys eat would turn my stomach before it ever made it to my mouth let alone my stomach. Yet, honestly, think about it. There are millions of people who will and do dig through garbage cans and landfill dumps everyday looking for something to eat. There is also the reality that there are many people in this world today that are literally starving to death everyday. I wonder, if a person who has not had a bite to eat in 2 or 3 weeks, do they dream of food? I have had times in my life been where I had to go without any food for 2 or 3 days each week while I was waiting on my Friday paycheck. I got used to it, it was reality, yet, I do not ever remember having a dream where I was chasing a rabbit or a squirrel around a parking lot. How about you, have you experienced hunger and there was no food in your home and no money to buy even a pack of crackers with? Have you ever had dreams about jumping out of bed and grabbing and eating the south end of a northbound skunk?

 

 

 

 

The Wild Horse

 

 

Wild horse entombed upon a caves back wall

What an honor for all who get to see you

Six thousand or so odd years ago

In cased within a man-made stall

Yet the fury of the steed shows proudly

The fire in your eyes and the frown of brow

Your chest and abs all tight with anticipation

Lightning flashing from your hooves of glory then and now

To be brought out into the yellow light

Now to be seen for the first time of clear sight

As well as to be given sight to first see

For whom is more thankful, the seer  or the seen

Once only graced to a French magnet

Now even us surfs your beauty we see

You in my dreams, bare back and bridled only

The stars together for the first time we see

I honor the hand which with thee did draw

I honor the fury which you contain within

Folklore from long ago well said

Wild horses, wild women, and strong whiskey

These the things which make a live fully lived

In my dreams we ride across the Mediterranean sand

Though you were just painted upon a cave’s back wall

Can You Really Trust Anyone These Day’s

 

Who do you trust; is there really anyone you would bet your breath of life

I do mean really deep down inside us, answering this question only to ourselves

Your life and your families lives on the line is there a Soul devoted and true

In our lives, look at all of our living bloodline, would they all drop a dime

At our chosen place of holy worship, do we ever really care what is the Truth

Is there any flesh in the building whose word to you is always golden, unbroken

Is there anyone in our lives that we can go to who won’t sell us out with a smile

I can only hope my friend that you are blessed like I, loved ones by my side

Rocks fall upon us all, even our beloved spouse and children fail at times

Pray we have a warm blanket on the winter nights, keep the bare toes inside

Can we even trust our own selves to use logic when our dreams talk at night

Where do we go at night in our minds as we wait for sleep to finally arrive

Is there anyone that we pray to before sleep over takes us and closes our eyes

If we have no family or friends that are trust worthy is that their fault or ours

Do we really trust or believe the one we pray to, or is it that all we tell Him is lies

I pray that we have all had at least one true friend in these days of our lives

Total trust, for me, I have a sister and four children whom are still alive

I do hope that you are like I in that I have a sweet ball and chain, my bride

When life is full of pain, deceit and lies she is the rib that holds up my life

I hope that you are like I in that you are blessed with true love before you die

True love is built on trust, it is not possible if your spouse fills your heart with lies.

 

7 Short Thoughts/Parables:For You Too Ponder

 

Is there such a thing, as a perfect rest

Is there such a thing as a restful peace?

 

Can someone have love without passion, or name

Can someone have true passion with a hate-filled mate?

 

Is love really a true passion of the heart

Or is the heart really just a passionless pit of darkness?

 

Is God’s grace given only to the sinful few

Or is it only the sinful whom give others no grace?

 

The first time that you were ever grabbed and kissed, so nice

In the twilight of our time do we still smile inside at the thought?

 

Hormones and dreams, with them almost all rushed through our teens

Will our grandchildren still have dreams, or like hormones just work, then die?

 

The greatest generation alive, baby boomers, their parents, X, Y, and Z

The greatest day in history is now, please, open up your eyes, now breathe!

 

Poem: Old Poems And Old Folks

 

Old poems, from where do they generate

Old minds, is this what is required to create

Old memories, of what really happened can fluctuate

Old eyes can dim, but the wit and the Soul stay bright

Old ears can close yet the laughs of yesterday remain

Old poems like people can be hate filled or even kind of sweet.

 

Old poems, from where do they linger or draw their breath

Old by-gone years and the loved ones those memories possess

Old days of your childhood, whipped and worked like a dog

Old school systems that taught nothing of real life to the child

Old school sweethearts, would’ve been nice if someone had cared

Old poems like dreams allows the heart and mind to fantasize, what if!

 

Old poems can bring tears of joy or sometimes tears of pain to the psych

Old lives lived, would we really want to go back in time, do it all again

Old friendships like time itself somehow fade or grow with the ticking clock

Old loves and lovers through poem rekindle the first time they cuddled

Old couples on the swing holding hands, sun setting in the glory of God

Old poems can open a dead heart and bring it back, to see the next sunrise!

 

Our Dreams

 

 

Are you still able to dream? I don’t mean the type that owns our sleep, I am asking you if you still have any personal dreams? We all have to face the sands of time, it is also true that we are at different stages on our personal tell of the tape. I am almost 60 now and have had poor health for many years. If the Doctors had been correct I probably would have been dead around 2003-04. It was difficult for me to finally have to admit it to myself a couple of days ago, that I guess my chances of  making the Cubs roster this year are pretty slim, then again, we are talking about the Cubs.

 

This question I have for you, no matter where you are at on your own personal ruler of time, have you become a person without dreams? Reality, sometimes fails to live up to any of our dreams. But as we get older and have not obtained certain goals that we have had since we were small kids, sometimes reality can burn a person out, from the inside. I think that we humans are for the most part, adaptive. Just because I can’t get the Cubs to sign me to a long term deal doesn’t mean that I couldn’t dream of becoming something else, like a Country or Blues or Blue Grass singer. As it turns out just as the Cubs would not sign me for the mere fact that I have no talent (I didn’t think it mattered with them), the Country, Soul, and Blue Grass  music bosses say that talent is required, how dare they.

 

In your opinion is this thought true or not, that a person without dreams is dead? If you think about it this last sentence said two truths with the same words. I ended up spending my adult life in my number four dream of living behind the wheel of eighteen steel pulling forty more behind. Number three for me would have been to be a Minister for Jesus along the lines of Doctor Billy Graham, but my troubles with languages and my lack of public speaking ability dashed that also. To me, I find two things disturbing about my list, I would have hoped that being a quality Minister would have been number one on this list. But the most disturbing though crossed my mind as I was typing this post and I will end with a personal though to you tonight. That first job that I should have said was my number one dream job that I totally screwed up, being a Daddy.