(Humor Poem) La’ Pue

LA’ PUE

A skunk is just a kitty with a stripe up it’s back
The front end has the teeth yet the back-end, the attack
O’ Day perfume or O’ Day toilet, you find in the swanky stores
Give your date all natural Skunk Oil, you, she’ll never forget
Give her a kitty with its own perfume bag, a guaranteed success
Granny Clampett was said to have a great road kill stew
Elvira made a soup that was rumored to be able to eat you
Crockett and Boone wore skin hats with a decorative tail
You ever seen a coat with a white stripe up it’s back
Ever been served a meal where your teeth pulled themselves
See them roll down the hall like Chiclets to escape the smell
Beware when you see one of these kitty’s raise their tail
Don’t stand and watch the show, you’ll find it’s not a salute
You may think you are starved and would do anything for a meal
Do yourself a great favor, stay away from their southern end
Even a wolf or a grizzly sees their tail up in the air, they know to spin
Better to dream of maggot grits or even cow pie and pig knuckle stew
One bite and you’ll learn why the French call this kitty, Pepe La’ Pue

(Attempt At Humor) My Favorite Kitty Cat Done Packed Her Bags And Left

 

This note is to Ms. Oreo’s wicked Step-Mom who would torture her when I wasn’t home by such cruel measures as tuna deprivation. You’re the reason she packed her bag, hopped the first Freight-shaker with a kitty-cat purr, Hollywood bound. I hear she married a cat named Garfickle when she got settled in, it’s said they met on a casting couch, how purr-fect I guess. Heard things were going great until she smelled some of her tuna on his breath. They buried him three days ago. Now she’s got her twenty-two pounds east bound and down running from the fuzz…

(Humor/Poem) Tabby My Dear

Tabby My Dear

 

Our little fur ball so plain to the eyes

Short gray hair like allergies they fly

Beauty she lacks except for her kitten face

Her purr motor running with a smile always

Her love for the family she never disguised

 

 

Pets like people who possess outer beauty

Tend to be filled with self-love and pomp

True love comes from within the heart

Just like the love she never tried to hide

In the sweet little face of our Tabby Cat

(Humor/Poem) A Cat Named Puppy

A CAT NAMED PUPPY

 

This is the story of our family’s furry little friend

A little fur ball from the pound she purred her way in

A little tabby as sweet and loving as she could possibly be

Yet a little deranged as in this story you shall soon see

 

 

We had no intention of getting this plain little girl

But with her unending rubbing and purring

We brought her and a rotund sister into our world

Her name was Starlight but to this she had not a clue

 

 

One day my wife’s dad stopped in with his puppy named Bandit

This furry little boy Shih Tzu who set the Kitty’s heart all a glow

It is good that they were both already surgically fixed

The cartoon called Cat Dog now did not seem so far fetched

 

 

The day came when Bandit went back to his home in KY

Starlight was heart broken and somewhere she did hide

While sitting on the couch my wife thought of a plan

She panted like Bandit and to her the cat ran

 

 

This is not all of her strangeness you see

Wherever my wife goes the cat follow’s her feet

Her name is no longer Starlight for that she still does not know

But just say the name Puppy and in your lap she will be

(Humor/Poem) Tabby My Dear

Tabby My Dear

 

Our little fur ball

So plain to the eyes

Short gray hair

Like allergies they fly

 

Beauty she lacks

Except her kitten face

And the smile in her eyes

 

Her purr motor always running

Her love for the family

She never tries to disguise

 

Pets like people with outer beauty

Tend to be filled with deceit and lies

True beauty lies within

Like the love never hidden

In our little Tabby’s eyes

 

 

(Humor/ Poem) Tabby My Dear

Tabby My Dear

 

Our little fur ball so plain to the eyes

Short gray hair like allergies they fly

Beauty she lacks except for her kitten face

Her purr motor running with a smile always

Her love for the family she never disguised

 

 

Pets like people who possess outer beauty

Tend to be filled with self-love and pomp

True love comes from within the heart

Just like the love she never tried to hide

In the sweet little face of our Tabby Cat

(Humor/Poem) A Cat Named Puppy

A CAT NAMED PUPPY

 

This is the story of our family’s furry little friend

A little fur ball from the pound she purred her way in

A little tabby as sweet and loving as she could possibly be

Yet a little deranged as in this story you shall soon see

 

 

We had no intention of getting this plain little girl

But with her unending rubbing and purring

We brought her and a rotund sister into our world

Her name was Starlight but to this she had not a clue

 

 

One day my wife’s dad stopped in with his puppy named Bandit

This furry little boy Shih Tzu who set the Kitty’s heart all a glow

It is good that they were both already surgically fixed

The cartoon called Cat Dog now did not seem so far fetched

 

 

The day came when Bandit went back to his home in KY

Starlight was heart broken and somewhere she did hide

While sitting on the couch my wife thought of a plan

She panted like Bandit and to her the cat ran

 

 

This is not all of her strangeness you see

Wherever my wife goes the cat follow’s her feet

Her name is no longer Starlight for that she still does not know

But just say the name Puppy and in your lap she will be

Oreo The Cat

Oreo The Cat

 

 

Just the name brings a smile to my face

Though chocolate and cream filling

Cookies, dipped in the  milk so cold

Yet, none of these tasty treats are of what I speak

Oreo is the name of my all time favorite fat cat

A plump, double stuffed kitty

Coal black on both sides

With a big white belly to pet

Offend her, she’ll snub you

Sit facing away, then she might reward you

With a look over her shoulder

Gracing you with her glance

18 pounds of belly, white tippy toes

And the prettiest green eyes

I have ever seen on a cat

Grace given, allowed to have her for a pet

Now cookies are great

Eat enough you might find

You got a belly like Oreo’s

A dragging behind

A cat for a pet can be a lot of fun

An angel like Oreo

Allowing you to live under her roof

Now, open one more can of tuna

You know it’s her favorite

So just open it up and get out of her way

When it comes to her belly this sweetheart don’t play

Cat named Puppy

Cat Named Puppy

This is the story of our family’s furry friend

A little fur ball from the pound we did get

A little tabby as sweet as can be

Yet a little deranged as in this story you shall see.

We had no intention of getting this plain little girl

But with her unending rubbing and purring

We brought her into our world.

Her name was Starlight but this she did not know

Till one day my wife’s dad brought over his little doggy named Bandit

Who set the kitty’s heart all aglow

It is good that they were both surgically fixed

The cartoon called Cat Dog now did not seem so far fetched.

When Bandit went back to his home in KY

Starlight was heart broken and somewhere she did hide

While sitting on the couch my wife thought of a plan

She panted like Bandit and to her the cat ran.

This is not all of her strangeness you see

Wherever my wife goes the cat follows her feet

The name is no longer Starlight for that she still does not know

But say the name Puppy and in your lap she will be.