(Humor/Poem) Roll Me One

Roll Me One

 

I was about seventeen the first time I tried this God-given herb

A friend rolled me one in the parking lot of the senior high

It didn’t do anything the first three or four times I tried some

Turns out the tobacco was homegrown, a waste of my time

 

Columbia, I remember the first time I ever heard of the name

Was because of the red and the gold haired tobacco they grew

Makes a person wish they could go and live down there to

 

Wacky tabacky now I understand why good people have to shield

Left handed cigarettes, disguised with silly names that we give it

A pure Herb God has given for all of man to be able to enjoy

Pharmaceuticals and Alcohol lobbyist pay politicians to damn it

 

It is so evil that people are forbidden to be able to enjoy God’s gifts

Folks should be able to Roll one up and remove their daily stresses

Big Brother takes the rights of the peace-loving people away

People want freedom, Big Brother’s chooses to act like a snake

Politicians make laws so crooked the people can not freely partake

 

Roll one for me my brother but do not assume your God-given freedom

The snake is self-elected and manipulating full of venom and pure evil

Roll one in secret but be careful for there are electronic narcs all around

The Demons in D.C. and the State Houses are professional liars and thieves

A couple planted grams, they now own all you worked a lifetime to achieve

 

Trump Once Again Tweets Article Showing His Sick Sense Of Humor And His Cowardliness

(MY IDEA FOR THIS ARTICLE CAME FROM A CNN ARTICLE THEY POSTED ABOUT 1300 EST TODAY) (September 16th 2017)

 

The article that CNN posted about one hour ago was of a Tweet that our glorious ‘Golfer in Chief’ posted early this morning. Now do not get me wrong, I am not a fan of Hillary Clinton at all nor am I even a Democrat but I do try to be a decent human being which is something that Mr. Trump relishes in not being. The first basic building block for believing and feeling that Mr. Trump is a coward is from the deferments his KKK Daddy got for him while he was in college. If I remember correctly I believe it was 6 deferments from going into the military during the Vietnam War. Supposedly he got the deferments because of a bad heal or a bad foot, I don’t remember exactly. Yet this coward was able to play in several sports programs while in college. If he could do these things he damn sure could have worn our Nations Uniform. It is amazing what a Daddy (as you probably know Trump likes that term, Daddy instead of just Dad) with hundreds of millions of dollars can arrange for their children, even when they are of adult age.

 

Now, onto the issue of Mr. Trumps Tweet this morning. He thought that this was funny I guess, maybe I am just to much of a moralist but to me it wasn’t humorist, it was pathetic. In the Tweet Mr. Trump is playing golf and when he strikes the ball the doctored clip shows Hillary getting on a plane when at the top of the steps the ball hits her in the middle of the back, knocking her down. Even if you are a person that can not stand this woman she is still a human and she is still a woman. Since when has our society turned so cold that we think that anyone especially someone who is supposed to be an adult man striking a woman with anything especially in the back so hard that it knocks her down, is funny? Only a sick coward would even think of doing such a thing to a woman, any woman. But then again, our society seems to have always been filled with women beaters, I have to wonder, is this ‘playing to his base’? Our President who has many times proven to the whole world that he is an habitual liar and a total idiot is hosting almost all of the worlds leaders at the UN this week. Yet instead of using his time wisely like learning about the world issues that will be being discussed this week, he spends his time playing, showing his total lack of moral character on Twitter, once again. I believe that if the NSA does not brush up on their President killing skills (both Kennedy’s, my belief/opinion) first, I believe that the Senate will absolutely Impeach him before the 2018 Elections are held. I do not condone any violence upon anyone so hopefully the Republicans will get rid of him first. There is the other option in getting this Moron out of ‘Our’ Oval Office, and that option is Mr. Mueller. That is my best wish of all of the above choices, Donald and all of the Trump’s along with Mr. Kushner spending the rest of their lives in a maximum security Federal Prison. That result would really be putting Mr. Trump in touch with ‘his base’.

(Humor/Poem) Mr. Drive By

Mr. Drive By

 

Mr. Drive By, in this house little man you are a many times daily event

From a dead sleep the refrigerator opens you’re winding around my feet

Going back and forth, head to tail you rub robust body against my feet

Your food dish in the bathroom you make sure we always keep it filled

Treats in the cabinets you do your best to break in and get for yourself

 

We go to the kitchen for a Pepsi yet you gotta smell the can for yourself

Try to do a little cooking, Drive By trying to get us the pan or plate to spill

At the kitchen table if he can distract you he will be siting in your plate

He sometimes teams with little brother a sneaky tag team scheme they play

Watch one and the other is stealing all meat right off of your fork or plate

 

Garfield ain’t got nothing on Mr. Drive By when it comes to belly sway

Fresh food in his bowl then treats on the floor he is always looking for more

18 Pounds of belly fur always swinging in the breeze and dusting the floor

Belly swaying wall to wall as he waddles to his bathroom down the hall

Get his tank empty then to the kitchen, one more Drive By before he sleeps

 

 

 

 

Mexico’s Ex-President Just Brutally Mocked Trump By Making His Own ‘MAGA’ Hats

(I GOT THIS SENT TO ME FROM A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK, IF THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU SMILE YOU MUST ALREADY BE DEAD)

(MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE FIVE MINUTE VIDEO AT THE BOTTOM)

Home  Uncategorized  Mexico’s Ex-President Just Brutally Mocked Trump By Making His Own ‘MAGA’ Hats

Mexico’s Ex-President Just Brutally Mocked Trump By Making His Own ‘MAGA’ Hats

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Showcasing an array of mock “MAGA” hats, former Mexican President Vincente Fox just doubled down on his attacks toward Trump in a hilarious new video.

Background:

This just in, folks: Vincente Fox is running for President of the United States.

Well, probably not. But Fox brought his Trump jabs to new heights in a video posted yesterday where he satirized the announcement of his candidacy.

Since Trump’s nomination, Fox has been a vocal critic of the orange goblin. In September 2016, Fox took swings at a Trump piñata at a taco truck during a visit to LA-based Spanish talk show El Show de Piolín.

“Empty, totally empty,” Fox said, reaching his hand inside the smashed Trumpian bust. “He doesn’t have a brain.”

Following the general election, Fox released a series of videos criticizing the conman-in-chief. Most of the originals shared a common theme: Mexico won’t pay for the wall.

While the message was little more than common sense for sane voters, Trump loyalists were appalled to learn that — gasp — they’d be forced to personally shell out the cash for border wall funding.

But given Trump’s unmatched ability to routinely make an ass of himself, Fox has no shortage of raw material. His most recent uploads poke fun at Trump’s hot temper, loud mouth, and lack of empathy following the president’s recent DACA decision.

“Donald, do you want to be a hero?” he asked in a June 2017 video. “Because you can. All you have to do is quit.”

Honestly, we’d be lucky if Fox pursued a presidential bid. But given the unlikelihood of such a scenario, we’ll remain content with his comedic approach to sensibility.

What’s Happening Now:

Seated at a desk in a mock-up presidential suite, Fox looked composed and confident as he eyed the camera — a refreshing contrast to Trump’s cringeworthy persona.

“It’s me, Vincente Fox,” he began, “with another message for last year’s rotting Halloween pumpkin.”

From there, Fox proudly announced his candidacy as a goat was escorted onstage, bearing the message “Vincente for Presidente!” The goat turned, displaying another message: “A taco truck on every corner!”

The amusing sign pays homage to bizarre comments made last year by “Latinos for Trump” founder Marco Gutierrez on MSNBC.

“My culture is a very dominant culture, and it’s imposing and it’s causing problems,” said Gutierrez. “If you don’t do something about it, you’re going to have taco trucks on every corner.”

Trump, of course, wouldn’t take issue with that. After all, he loves Latinos. Really. Believe me.

Ah, yes, overpriced Manhattan meals. Now that’s authentic Spanish cuisine.

Fox, who was born in Mexico City, hysterically addressed concerns about his eligibility for presidency.

“If that worn-out baseball glove tightly gripping a turd can be president, then, amigos, anyone can!” he said of Trump.

He went on to bash the criminal-in-chief’s gross exaggeration of the 2017 inaugural crowd, ill-chosen cabinet picks, and unjustifiable support for alt-right neo-Nazi extremists.

“Donald, what the f*** is wrong with you?” he screamed.

Ridiculing conservative desires to build a wall, Fox promised to meet their demands, wielding a picture of a bricked-in Trump Tower.

“Believe me, Mexico will be happy to pay for this one,” he said.

But the real hilarity ensued at the video’s conclusion, when Fox displayed an assortment of MAGA-inspired hats.

“Always ask before grabbing a pussy,” he remarked, reading the ballcap’s text with a smirk as he placed it on his head.

The other hats, which included jabs like “65 million is more than 62 million,” “Putin is not my papi,” and “Not afraid of stairs” poked fun at a just a few of Trump’s many public gaffes.

Twitter users responded in kind.

If you haven’t seen the Vincente Fox video yet, you really should. https://twitter.com/therickydavila/status/906176561480687617 

I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. This is ninja-level Trump trolling by @VicenteFoxQue

The full video is worth the watch — words truly don’t do it justice.

And while you’re at it, watch the others, too. I laughed so hard my sides hurt.

(Humor/Poem) Tabby My Dear

Tabby My Dear

 

Our little fur ball so plain to the eyes

Short gray hair like allergies they fly

Beauty she lacks except for her kitten face

Her purr motor running with a smile always

Her love for the family she never disguised

 

 

Pets like people who possess outer beauty

Tend to be filled with self-love and pomp

True love comes from within the heart

Just like the love she never tried to hide

In the sweet little face of our Tabby Cat

(Philosophy Humor/Poem) So,This Is Life

So, This Is Life

 

When I find myself in disfavor of riches and of the ladies smiles

I find myself alone cursing and weeping from this darkened state

My pain, my pain, why does Heaven hide from my tear filled eyes

When looking upon my life, I curse the bloody things I’ve done

 

 

Wanting myself to be like those who never worked, yet lined with gold

Coveting life like them with toes in the sand beating their chests like Tarzan

Why do we humans yearn for this friends looks and that one’s fame

If all wishes granted, what would we enjoy the most, and what the least

When in such thoughts I find it is myself the most that I am so displeased

 

 

Hopefully Lord I pray to Thee, rescue me Lord, for truly I hate my mistakes

I spent my years like an ignorant fool, with no guarantee of the next sun rising

From breathing air, to the cold grave, now hearing hymns at Heavens Gate

From this state I have lived in, Lord do I really wish to see Thy Holy Face

But then I awake and I do see the beauty of the morning sun rising once again

Aw but a dream, but wait, my boots to my beard, they are thoroughly singed

(Humor/Poem) Mister W. (My Salute To George W Bush)

Mister W.

 

Since you were a child it was only evil that ever bent your ear

You learned to dance around the truth, yet never speak it

You were taught that you were born of privilege, and how to use it

In your mind this gives you the right to do whatever pleases you

Curfews and even your parents wishes meant nothing to you

Your someday is now for you are a fully grown excuse of a man

 

 

Now your eyes are set upon the Throne where your daddy once sat

Your dreams now complete, you walk the halls of this House of White

The Scriptures speak the truth about Dark portraying to be Light

Who is it now that once again takes claim to this seat in the Oval Room

Now your butt hits the cushion Throne where your daddy once reigned

You now have the right to choose right and wrong, but which will it be

For awhile the Throne is now yours here at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

(Humor/Poem) Moonshine Nights And Satin Sheets

Moonshine Nights And Satin Sheets

 

I’m a hillbilly by birth and I am proud to say it and every day I live it

Blue Ridge Mountains, Twin County, South West Virginia Southern pride

Iron Ridge, Galax are the deep roots of our un-branching ancestral trees

Overalls, chewing tabackee, furniture factories, our sweat, blood and tears

Every day life is always the same for us poor folk living here in the bottom

 

 

Not much excitement can a person afford with these wages that starve ya

Find a pretty girl who likes to skinny dip after drinking your corn liquor

Hillbilly Juice, Mountain Dew, Shine, it’s got a lot of names of grandeur

Don’t matter what you call it, drink it when it’s cloudy and it will kill ya

Drink it, you be real soon seeing all your ancestors of the years gone by

 

 

Poor man’s life is working your back and fingers to the bloody bones

Always breaking your neck for a check that is already gone before you get it

If you got the guts drive by the big boss mens mansions on Country Club Lane

Fine houses, fine ladies, but just like some Preachers daughters kids rebel anyway

Some rich kids go wild and slumming, after drinking the shine, were all just the same

 

 

Crooked Creek, skinny dipping, is it her or the Shine that has got my heart a pumping

Another quart of Granny’s Elixir and we both got that light of lust shining in our eyes

Off to her home on Country Club Lane after swimming, in the back door we’re creeping

Never been in a Mansion, right now I don’t care cause on her satin sheets we’re a sliding

Sweet Corn Liquor and a pretty girl makes a poor boy feel alive and forget his Caste place

Two in the morning her Daddy walks in, now from a barn rafter this Hillbilly is swinging

(Humor/Dark Poem) In My Eyes (The Mirror)

In My Eyes (The Mirror)

 

In my bathroom mirror, I see but a grain of sand

How is it that one such as I could an ego possess

How could anyone look upon one such as I am

This old man, and entertain a single thought of lust

 

 

In my mirror I see my head shiny and balding

Hair now only tends to grow from my nose and ears

Hair from these strange places, yet not upon my head

Even with these old eyes I can see my belly swaying

This front porch hiding by belt loops and even my shoes

 

 

So many years of my life all I did was work like a dog

Army lightning strike tore up this body’s quality of life

Never anytime for any recreation or play, just work

The reflection in my bathrooms mirror do I laugh, or cry

I see my store-bought teeth, in their container a waiting

 

 

In my mirror I see all these things I wish I didn’t recognize

With my store-bought eyeballs a hanging on this old ugly face

Now in my shower I think of a real great entertaining thought

If I leave these store-bought glasses in the top drawer of my desk

For a moment this old mans flaws maybe I can wash down the drain

Head in the sand, if you can’t see them, maybe they went away

 

 

Now all things in my mirror are blurring, I can’t see for the fog

Young man in my mind but not in the passages of my heart

Thinking of my loved one’s I will soon be once again seeing

I lay here beneath the mirror waiting the last tick of the clock

Comfort of Soul I lay here upon my bathroom floor expiring

This old ugly man I wonder if the Lord will recognize who I am

(Humor/Poem) The Hoss

The Hoss

 

They call me the Hoss

On this Range here I’m the Boss

Born with both my legs a hanging off a horse

My back is damn sure not broke, cause I’m the Hoss

 

 

High up on my Stud, you know I never been one to brag

Never been one to kiss ass or grovel, a long shadow I cast

At four-foot six don’t you know I’m always tall in the saddle

Don’t you ever forget it, out here on this Range, I’m the Hoss

 

 

Life is sometimes heroic, my good looks make me truly historic

It’s just cause I’m so handsome and I let everyone know it

Don’t you know that on this West Texas Range, I’m the Hoss

My skin and my fists are now so much tougher than leather

As a young man never thought about needing to get out of the weather

 

 

Age has now taught me much better, Ho Jo, now my favorite four letters

Did I mention I’ve got a Texas Long Horn setting on the hood of my 64 Chevy

I’m so cool, never fooled, I’m a Hall Of Fame Cowboy a true living legend

I’m the King of the Range, got my hat and my horse solar-paneled

You can see them from space, as they light up my name, yep I’m the Hoss

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—Thank You, oldpoet56, T.R.S.

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