(Humor/Poem) Mister W. (My Salute To George W Bush)

Mister W.

 

Since you were a child it was only evil that ever bent your ear

You learned to dance around the truth, yet never speak it

You were taught that you were born of privilege, and how to use it

In your mind this gives you the right to do whatever pleases you

Curfews and even your parents wishes meant nothing to you

Your someday is now for you are a fully grown excuse of a man

 

 

Now your eyes are set upon the Throne where your daddy once sat

Your dreams now complete, you walk the halls of this House of White

The Scriptures speak the truth about Dark portraying to be Light

Who is it now that once again takes claim to this seat in the Oval Room

Now your butt hits the cushion Throne where your daddy once reigned

You now have the right to choose right and wrong, but which will it be

For awhile the Throne is now yours here at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

(Humor/Poem) Moonshine Nights And Satin Sheets

Moonshine Nights And Satin Sheets

 

I’m a hillbilly by birth and I am proud to say it and every day I live it

Blue Ridge Mountains, Twin County, South West Virginia Southern pride

Iron Ridge, Galax are the deep roots of our un-branching ancestral trees

Overalls, chewing tabackee, furniture factories, our sweat, blood and tears

Every day life is always the same for us poor folk living here in the bottom

 

 

Not much excitement can a person afford with these wages that starve ya

Find a pretty girl who likes to skinny dip after drinking your corn liquor

Hillbilly Juice, Mountain Dew, Shine, it’s got a lot of names of grandeur

Don’t matter what you call it, drink it when it’s cloudy and it will kill ya

Drink it, you be real soon seeing all your ancestors of the years gone by

 

 

Poor man’s life is working your back and fingers to the bloody bones

Always breaking your neck for a check that is already gone before you get it

If you got the guts drive by the big boss mens mansions on Country Club Lane

Fine houses, fine ladies, but just like some Preachers daughters kids rebel anyway

Some rich kids go wild and slumming, after drinking the shine, were all just the same

 

 

Crooked Creek, skinny dipping, is it her or the Shine that has got my heart a pumping

Another quart of Granny’s Elixir and we both got that light of lust shining in our eyes

Off to her home on Country Club Lane after swimming, in the back door we’re creeping

Never been in a Mansion, right now I don’t care cause on her satin sheets we’re a sliding

Sweet Corn Liquor and a pretty girl makes a poor boy feel alive and forget his Caste place

Two in the morning her Daddy walks in, now from a barn rafter this Hillbilly is swinging

(Humor/Dark Poem) In My Eyes (The Mirror)

In My Eyes (The Mirror)

 

In my bathroom mirror, I see but a grain of sand

How is it that one such as I could an ego possess

How could anyone look upon one such as I am

This old man, and entertain a single thought of lust

 

 

In my mirror I see my head shiny and balding

Hair now only tends to grow from my nose and ears

Hair from these strange places, yet not upon my head

Even with these old eyes I can see my belly swaying

This front porch hiding by belt loops and even my shoes

 

 

So many years of my life all I did was work like a dog

Army lightning strike tore up this body’s quality of life

Never anytime for any recreation or play, just work

The reflection in my bathrooms mirror do I laugh, or cry

I see my store-bought teeth, in their container a waiting

 

 

In my mirror I see all these things I wish I didn’t recognize

With my store-bought eyeballs a hanging on this old ugly face

Now in my shower I think of a real great entertaining thought

If I leave these store-bought glasses in the top drawer of my desk

For a moment this old mans flaws maybe I can wash down the drain

Head in the sand, if you can’t see them, maybe they went away

 

 

Now all things in my mirror are blurring, I can’t see for the fog

Young man in my mind but not in the passages of my heart

Thinking of my loved one’s I will soon be once again seeing

I lay here beneath the mirror waiting the last tick of the clock

Comfort of Soul I lay here upon my bathroom floor expiring

This old ugly man I wonder if the Lord will recognize who I am

(Humor/Poem) The Hoss

The Hoss

 

They call me the Hoss

On this Range here I’m the Boss

Born with both my legs a hanging off a horse

My back is damn sure not broke, cause I’m the Hoss

 

 

High up on my Stud, you know I never been one to brag

Never been one to kiss ass or grovel, a long shadow I cast

At four-foot six don’t you know I’m always tall in the saddle

Don’t you ever forget it, out here on this Range, I’m the Hoss

 

 

Life is sometimes heroic, my good looks make me truly historic

It’s just cause I’m so handsome and I let everyone know it

Don’t you know that on this West Texas Range, I’m the Hoss

My skin and my fists are now so much tougher than leather

As a young man never thought about needing to get out of the weather

 

 

Age has now taught me much better, Ho Jo, now my favorite four letters

Did I mention I’ve got a Texas Long Horn setting on the hood of my 64 Chevy

I’m so cool, never fooled, I’m a Hall Of Fame Cowboy a true living legend

I’m the King of the Range, got my hat and my horse solar-paneled

You can see them from space, as they light up my name, yep I’m the Hoss

(Humor/Poem) Little Princess

Little Princess

 

Little girls are so pretty from the time they are born

With their smiles like Heaven so tender and warm

They learn to toddle and waddle and fall on their buns

With eyes lit like Angels, their hearts so tender and warm

 

 

God’s gifts from Mommy’s bellies to Daddy’s outstretched arms

The Princess taken to Her Castle where She will be safe from harm

Till school does begin and Her new world She does begin to charm

Smiling and dancing she leaves the little boys blushing needing to pee

 

 

Till finished with schooling, then Her Beau on one knee

Her Knight in shining armor in his Mustang takes her away

From Mommy and Daddy to her own new Castle he takes

Where she is now the Queen that her King totally adores

 

 

Not long in Her new Kingdom Her belly does start to rise

The Lord delivers to Her and Her Hubby a 7 pound surprise

A Bundle with bright shining eyes and often a pudding behind

With a smile like unto Heaven, their new Princess has arrived

(Humor/Poem) Behind The Wheel

Behind The Wheel

 

The first time I noticed them

I had just turned nine years old

Reflecting gold and silver in the night

Moonlight off all their chrome

 

 

I knew that night that some day

Yes someday, the cab of a truck

Would be the place I would lay my head

Thirty years this rolling thunder was my home

 

 

For wife and child I worked hard to give home and food

At home the wife made it living hell behind the walls

Having to live in a life where the wife always spat hate

Leaves a person with broken spirit, heart and Soul

 

 

If your mind is to survive and not live a life of grovel

Get your backside in the seat, close the door, open the throttle

Back into a life in which you can learn to deal with the hate

When you put your foot down on the power depend on the Jake

 

 

Now only D.O.T. and the red and blue lights to turn your mood sour

Always got a roof to keep you our head dry no matter the weather

As you get to see our great country  from the Gulf and water to water

Sometimes you even get to see our big beautiful Northern Sister

Four years away from her now, Lord how I miss her

 

 

You work yourself to the brink of death they take your CDL

Now in my front yard I have a big shiny T-2000 KW

Each morning I awake, with no X-Wife my nerves to grate

When no one is looking I kiss the shiny chrome of my Mistress

 

(Humor/Poem) Mister W. (My Salute To George W Bush)

Mister W.

 

Since you were a child it was only evil that ever bent your ear

You learned to dance around the truth, yet never speak it

You were taught that you were born of privilege, and how to use it

In your mind this gives you the right to do whatever pleases you

Curfews and even your parents wishes meant nothing to you

Your someday is now for you are a fully grown excuse of a man

 

 

Now your eyes are set upon the Throne where your daddy once sat

Your dreams now complete, you walk the halls of this House of White

The Scriptures speak the truth about Dark portraying to be Light

Who is it now that once again takes claim to this seat in the Oval Room

Now your butt hits the cushion Throne where your daddy once reigned

You now have the right to choose right and wrong, but which will it be

For awhile the Throne is now yours here at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

(Humor/Poem) Moonshine Nights And Satin Sheets

Moonshine Nights And Satin Sheets

 

I’m a hillbilly by birth and I am proud to say it and every day I live it

Blue Ridge Mountains, Twin County, South West Virginia Southern pride

Iron Ridge, Galax are the deep roots of our un-branching ancestral trees

Overalls, chewing tabackee, furniture factories, our sweat, blood and tears

Every day life is always the same for us poor folk living here in the bottom

 

 

Not much excitement can a person afford with these wages that starve ya

Find a pretty girl that likes to skinny dip after drinking your corn liquor

Hillbilly Juice, Mountain Dew, Shine, it’s got a lot of names of grandeur

Don’t matter what you call it, drink it when it’s cloudy and it will kill ya

Drink it, you be real soon seeing all your ancestors of the years gone by

 

 

Poor man’s life is working your back and fingers to the bloody bones

Always breaking your neck for a check that is already gone before you get it

If you got the guts drive by the big boss mens mansions on Country Club Lane

Fine houses, fine ladies, but just like some Preachers daughters kids rebel anyway

Some rich kids go wild and slumming, after drinking the shine, were all just the same

 

 

Crooked Creek, skinny dipping, is it her or the Shine that has got my heart a pumping

Another quart of Granny’s Elixir and we both got that light of lust shining in our eyes

Off to her home on Country Club Lane after swimming, in the back door we’re creeping

Never been in a Mansion, right now I don’t care cause on her satin sheets we’re a sliding

Sweet Corn Liquor and a pretty girl makes a poor boy feel alive and forget his Caste place

Two in the morning her Daddy walks in, now from a barn rafter this Hillbilly is swinging

(Humor/Dark Poem) In My Eyes (The Mirror)

In My Eyes (The Mirror)

 

In my bathroom mirror, I see but a grain of sand

How is it that one such as I could an ego possess

How could anyone look upon one such as I am

This old man, and entertain a single thought of lust

 

 

In my mirror I see my head shiny and balding

Hair now only tends to grow from my nose and ears

Hair from these strange places, yet not upon my head

Even with these old eyes I can see my belly swaying

This front porch hiding by belt loops and even my shoes

 

 

So many years of my life all I did was work like a dog

Army lightning strike tore up this body’s quality of life

Never anytime for any recreation or play, just work

The reflection in my bathrooms mirror do I laugh, or cry

I see my store-bought teeth, in their container a waiting

 

 

In my mirror I see all these things I wish I didn’t recognize

With my store-bought eyeballs a hanging on this old ugly face

Now in my shower I think of a real great entertaining thought

If I leave these store-bought glasses in the top drawer of my desk

For a moment this old mans flaws maybe I can wash down the drain

Head in the sand, if you can’t see them, maybe they went away

 

 

Now all things in my mirror are blurring, I can’t see for the fog

Young man in my mind but not in the passages of my heart

Thinking of my loved one’s I will soon be once again seeing

I lay here beneath the mirror waiting the last tick of the clock

Comfort of Soul I lay here upon my bathroom floor expiring

This old ugly man I wonder if the Lord will recognize who I am

(Humor/Poem) The Hoss

The Hoss

 

They call me the Hoss

On this Range here I’m the Boss

Born with both my legs a hanging off a horse

My back is damn sure not broke, cause I’m the Hoss

 

 

High up on my Stud, you know I never been one to brag

Never been one to kiss ass or grovel, a long shadow I cast

At four-foot six don’t you know I’m always tall in the saddle

Don’t you ever forget it, out here on this Range, I’m the Hoss

 

 

Life is sometimes heroic, my good looks make me truly historic

It’s just cause I’m so handsome and I let everyone know it

Don’t you know that on this West Texas Range, I’m the Hoss

My skin and my fists are now so much tougher than leather

As a young man never thought about needing to get out of the weather

 

 

Age has now taught me much better, Ho Jo, now my favorite four letters

Did I mention I’ve got a Texas Long Horn setting on the hood of my 64 Chevy

I’m so cool, never fooled, I’m a Hall Of Fame Cowboy a true living legend

I’m the King of the Range, got my hat and my horse solar-paneled

You can see them from space, as they light up my name, yep I’m the Hoss