I don’t feel feelings. I feel a dull lull to things. Where there should be anger, happiness, sadness, anxiety, excitement, I feel a void whose existence is a constant reminder of my unfeeling nature.
A feeling in my definition, is something that burns in you, that you can feel climbing up hot through your throat, which you feel, powerful, through each breath and word.
Everything else seems false, like there is just emptiness where something you feel should be, so you pretend you aren’t empty and are the same as everyone else.
Like when you tell someone something, and they say they don’t’t want to listen to what you have to say, it’s rude. And you think you should feel indignant and angry, so you act it. Pretend to be hurt. Make sure they know that you’ve been hurt by what they did.
They come back, apologise. Say that they…
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