Who Do You Consider To Be ‘Your Family’


Who do you consider your family to be? I know from raising this subject within small groups that people have a wide variety of answers to that simple question. Some people only feel that their immediate household is their family, you know, Mom, Dad, and siblings. I have met quite a few people who have even divorced some of or all of those people from their lives. I have met many people who are by blood siblings or parents of friends that I know well, whom when you meet them you see why your friends have no use for this or that blood relative. When I was growing up I was inundated by alcoholics who were also close blood and of course those they chose to hang around with guzzled the suds too. These days it seems that drugs like crack and meth are the vehicle which is totally tearing families apart. When people get hooked on those chemicals they usually find themselves unemployed and homeless when they have used up all of their friends and family because they will steal from anyone to get another high. After a while even close family members tell them to never darken their doorway again. Of course there are many other reasons also that causes families to fall apart, to me, either which way you look at this issue it is sad when brother won’t speak to his brother, or parent to child.


My wife as well as a few other people throughout my life have told me they think I’m nuts because to me once you are family, you are always family. I have at times joked that I must have some Italian blood in my veins because of how I feel about this issue. I know that I don’t, my tree just goes back to Norway, Ireland, Scotland, and England so I’m just a Scandinavian area mutt. The only brother that I ever knew (one brother died before I was born) was married three times before he died from an aneurysm at the age of 43. He was seven years older than me and so he was out cating around well before I was. Each of the three ladies that he married already had kids when he married them. He had one child with each of them but there were/are 18 kids that weren’t his. Don’t think that I am trying to get uppity on my brother now because I myself have been married three times also. Total I have two blood kids of my own and I have two-step kids that to me are my kids as if they were blood, I love all four of them. They are all four grown and I have seven grand-kids now, I consider myself to be a very fortunate person.


The place where about everyone I know thinks we have this in our DNA of still caring, or we don’t. I am from a small core family of five so the people, once you are family, you are always family. Should I not speak with former in-laws of my own or of my brother just because of a divorce? Do you just stop communicating with people that you grew to love as if they just don’t matter anymore? To me it is difficult to stop loving someone who you have honestly loved. You see, to me all of my brothers kids and step kids are my nephews and nieces and they always will be, just as his three x-wives will always be sisters to me.


What is your opinion on my line of thoughts and beliefs about family? Do you think I am just plain odd that I would count people as family the way I do? What is your opinion on whom you consider to be in your heart. I have met a few people who when they got old enough to get out on their own they totally divorced themselves from everyone they knew usually because of how they were treated in their growing up years. To me that would be a sad personal situation for any person to be in but I have also know of parents who put their kid on the street and told them to never come to their door again. It is sad for people to have such splits in their lives, it really doesn’t surprise me why many people only consider people who are not blood, to be their real family. Well, if you would, drop me a line on your thought’s of what or who, that you consider to make up a family. Thank you for your time, I appreciate you stopping in. Goodnight and God’s blessings I pray for you and your family, (inner circle).–Shalom


6 thoughts on “Who Do You Consider To Be ‘Your Family’

    1. I had a small ‘core’ family, parents, 2 brothers, 1 sister. My sister and I are the only ones left, she is 63, me 61. We have been the last 2 since Mom got killed in a car wreck in 2000.


  1. Hello again, I’m sure your expecting some negative comment but I don’t have one, I enjoyed this post, and I ge what you mean. It is sad the way people seem to walk in and out like our lives are revolving doors, but I can admit, there is quite abit of family I have, that I refuse to talk to. For me, its a matter of weighing my feelings. Many of my family members leave me in a very bad mood once I’m free of them, so for the sake of my own sanity, I must put distance between me and them. As for who I consider family, I look at it this way..when I had my first holiday at my own home, when I could afford it with all the trimmings, I thought of who I would invite..who I woukd actually want to have in my own home to spend time with. My group was small, The blood relation was only of my wife, the rest was 3 friends. I chose people I felt I could be myself around, and to me thats family. I can’t say anything about help in hard times, or who was there when I was down, because if thats family, then for me its just my dog & wife.


    1. I really wasn’t expecting negative comments from you, you seem like an intelligent person, it seemed to me that you had been being honest about your feelings. To me people being honest without being hate filled is a marker of wisdom. I try to put in articles that will get people to think whether good or bad. I appreciate your comments and I hope that you continue to drop me a line any time you wish. Unfortunately in regards to this comment you just made it rings all to true about blood family who simply ruin your day when they show up at your door. That has always seemed stupid to me, I don’t know why some people feel they have to treat other people badly on purpose, especially members of their own blood family. I hope that you your wife and dog are able to have a great weekend, stay warm, stay safe.


      1. Your welcome Ms. Ramey, I feel the same way. No two people are going to agree on all the different issues all of the time, we learn from listing yet when people are only talking from a hate filled prospective, learning is cast to the wayside. I appreciate you taking of your time to speak with me, I appreciate you.—ted


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